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For every postseason matchup, Ball Don't Lie's resident dummy will offer a topically appropriate entry from the best-selling series of "Deep Thoughts" books written by legendary humorist Jack Handey, plus some of his own original thoughts on the playoff series. The combination will cost you literally nothing; we suggest you use the savings to purchase one of Mr. Handey's life-changing books.
No. 1 San Antonio Spurs vs. No. 2 Oklahoma City Thunder
"Life is a constant battle between the heart and the brain. But guess who wins. The skeleton."
The remarkable resurgence of Spurs centerpiece Tim Duncan ? he of the Frank Castle knee brace and the skel-toe adidas ? has been a story worth marveling over this postseason. The 36-year-old looked off-the-vine fresh during the Spurs' straight-sets wins over the Utah Jazz and Los Angeles Clippers in the first two rounds, averaging 19.8 points, 10.1 rebounds and 3.2 assists per 36 minutes of playoff burn, hitting 54 percent of his field goals and just under 80 percent of his free throws, and generally seeming about as sharp and dominant and as he has since San Antonio's last title run, way back in 2007.
It's tempting to suggest that, with Duncan playing at this level, there isn't a front line in the world that can slow him down. That, however, would ignore the yeoman's work that Thunder bigs Kendrick Perkins and Serge Ibaka did against the two-time MVP on the defensive end this year.
Both Ibaka and Perkins held Duncan well below his per-minute season marks in scoring and field goal percentage during the three Spurs-Thunder contests this year, of which San Antonio won two. While it's tough to use those matchups as an accurate predictor of how the series writ large will unfold ? San Antonio was without Manu Ginobili for all three games, started long-since-jettisoned Richard Jefferson in the first two and didn't get now-integral substitutes Boris Diaw and Stephen Jackson into the fold until after the teams' season series ended ? it's worth noting that in one area in which the principals will remain the same, Duncan struggled to a 15-of-42 (35.7 percent) shooting mark in 86 total minutes.
That includes a particularly bad 7-of-16 (43.8 percent) mark at the rim in the threegamescombined, about 20 percent below Duncan's season-average conversion rate on up-close tries, according to Hoopdata's shot-location statistics, and significantly behind the bounty he got against the Jazz and Clippers (22-of-34, 64.7 percent). More than any other team left in the postseason (and perhaps more than any other team in the league), the Thunder are equipped to limit Duncan's scoring effectiveness.
The problem is, the Spurs don't really need Duncan to score to win. Duncan has scored 15 points or less 31 times this season; San Antonio is 23-8 in those games. It's happened nine times since St. Patrick's Day ? sort of an unofficial division point in the Spurs' season, since the March 17 loss to the Dallas Mavericks marked the first time they played with both Jackson and Ginobili back in the lineup ? and they're 8-1. Part of that has to do with the brilliance of Tony Parker, who averaged 17.3 points and 6.7 assists per game without Duncan this year, who has been an absolute killer during the Spurs' lengthy winning streak, and who frequently seems capable of penetrating at will and putting defenses at the mercy of an offensive system that so often responds to defensive answers by changing the questions.
As Zach Lowe of SI.com's The Point Forward blog noted in a great breakdown of Parker's play against the Thunder defense this season, Oklahoma City has seemed to want to cut off Parker's angles of penetration in the Spurs' bread-and-butter pick-and-roll, conceding semi-contested perimeter jumpers by San Antonio's shooters off outside dishes rather than allowing Parker to get into the teeth of their defense, compromise its integrity and allow wide-open jumpers by San Antonio's shooters off his drive-and-kick game. Within that framework, Parker has been able to get his own offense, averaging 23.7 points per game against OKC this year (including a big 42-point explosion at the beginning of April) while still handing out 7.7 assists per contest.
Russell Westbrook is an amazing player who will work his backside off on defense in this series. And if he gets in trouble, Thunder coach Scott Brooks can switch some more size onto Parker ? defensive ace Thabo Sefolosha, Sixth Man of the Year James Harden or scoring champ Kevin Durant, the trio that combined to harass Kobe Bryant in Oklahoma City's second-round win over the Los Angeles Lakers. But Parker's shown an ability to beat whatever defense OKC, and anyone else, has devised for him this year, whether with a bucket of his own or a dish to a teammate.
If Parker can continue to operate roughly as he has been, creating for himself or for Pop's seemingly endless ranks of shooters, then it's hard to see a way that Oklahoma City can slow San Antonio down enough to win four times in seven games, so long as Duncan is still able to hold down the myriad defensive tasks he performs so well. And he has been against Oklahoma City this season, rebounding like crazy and anchoring a defensive unit that has locked the Thunder down to a sub-Bobcats offensive rating (number of points scored per 100 possessions) while he's on the floor, as detailed by Aaron McGuire at Spurs blog 48 Minutes of Hell. Yes, the Thunder have allowed a tick under 101 points per 100 possessions on the defensive end this postseason, which would have been fifth-best in the NBA over the course of the regular season, but they've played nine games against Dallas' No. 22-ranked offense and the Lakers' No. 10-ranked offense; now, they're facing the best in the business, and that matters.
That said, I don't think the Spurs are going to shut the Thunder down, either.
Oklahoma City stars Durant (22.7 points per game on 46.8 percent shooting), Westbrook (22.3 points on 44.8 percent shooting) and Harden (19.3 points on 59.4 percent shooting) have all scored well against San Antonio this year, and I expect them to get theirs again here. The Thunder will undoubtedly pose more offensive problems for the Spurs than either of their first two opponents did. San Antonio's difficulties defending the pick-and-roll game, which they snuffed out well against the Clippers, could rear their ugly head ? they're still not a great pick-and-roll defensive team, and the Thunder were even better at generating points there than a healthy Chris Paul's Clips were during the regular season. And while defenders like Danny Green and Kawhi Leonard will do their level best to make life difficult for the Thunder's dominant wings, San Antonio doesn't have enough excellent perimeter stoppers to extinguish OKC's fire-starters entirely. (Not many teams do.)
But I think Pop would live with that level of productivity from Durant, Westbrook and Harden if no one else is really getting off ? Ibaka's ability to provide a pressure release on pick-and-pop mid-range jumpers could be huge for Brooks' offense ? and I think San Antonio can make that happen. While I'll allow that the Spurs' recent improvement on the defensive end has come at the expense of an unremarkable Jazz side and a hobbled Clippers team, the improvement has still been ridiculous; they've held two top-10 regular-season offenses to 95.3 points per 100 possessions over the past eight games, and the tightening of defensive screws hasn't prevented San Antonio from punishing their opponents' bottom-third-of-the-league defenses, posting a sterling 110.1-per-100 offensive rating in the playoffs.
Oklahoma City will be much better than what San Antonio has faced, but will they create enough problems for a legitimately improved defense to generate enough points to outstrip a rollicking offense four times in seven games? I just don't see it. The Spurs will lose during this series for the first time in nearly seven weeks, but they won't lose four times. The skeleton might not be the series' most valuable player, but the skeleton's not alone; this time around, he's got an army, and all the hearts and brains in Oklahoma City won't be able to turn back the horde.
But you do, right? So how about sharing with the class? Best caption about/explanation of this situation wins OODLES of flamingo facts for your Friday. Good luck.
In our last adventure: Allen Iverson was in full throat for Game 6 of Celtics/76ers.
Winner, Big S: "Gimme the ball! I'm in my range and I'm open!"
Runner-up, Orchard: "He's so excited he's puking up handrails."
Second runner-up, Matt: Apparently, the Celtics weren't the only ones to lay an egg in Philly during Game 6.
Coming off back-to-back excellent performances, the star Miami Heat guard entered Bankers Life Fieldhouse on Thursday night intent on making a statement in Game 6 by putting away the Indiana Pacers in dominating fashion ... an intent he declared with some dominating fashion that stunned even teammate and noted fashionplate LeBron James before the game, according to ESPN's Rachel Nichols:
LeBron: "Damn, for real, those are closeout pants? And the finger sleeve?"
It's not a bad goof by LeBron ? the simple combination of words "Eddie Murphy in the '80s" is a pretty can't-miss laugh-inducer ? but strictly speaking, assuming James is referring to the bright leather suits Murphy rocked for "Delirious" and "Raw," it's not quite accurate. What Wade brought to the arena was actually more of a Chad Johnson/Ochocinco or John Daly look, when you get right down to it, with maybe a bit of "Nashville Star" winner Chris Young thrown in, via that wrist bandana (obviously). If anything, Present-Day Eddie Murphy kind of has more of a Russell Westbrook thing going on, really.
Regardless of their analogue or origin, Wade's pink pants caught many an observer's gaze, including the jaundiced eye of NBA TV host Rick Kamla, who proclaimed them a "flagrant fashion foul" during the cable network's "NBA Game Time" program. While I am sure such critiques wound Wade to his core, he's probably found some solace in the fact that he got to show out before, during and after a 41-point, 10-rebound performance that sent him to the Eastern Conference finals for the fourth time in eight years.
Well, that, and the knowledge that, as any major mom would say in times like these, if they're making fun of you, they're just jealous:
I'll leave it to someone else to prove Wade wrong by effectively rocking pink pants; he's dead on in my case. Luckily, we're guaranteed at least four more opportunities to see what Wade can come up with next.
Lamar Odom, master of his destiny and not at all a creature of habit and/or willing participant in whatever the heck Khloe Kardashian/E! Network/Ryan Seacrest Productions tell him to do, might want to play for the New York Knicks in 2012-13 and beyond.
Both rumors make plenty of sense, in basketball terms and in consideration of the respective players' personality, and history. Odom is from New York, cannot stand playing outside of major markets, and is ultra-sensitive who he runs with and under what circumstances. Howard, a year and a half removed from beginning to turn down contract extensions from the Orlando Magic, should have worn out his welcome with the team by now, and it makes sense for Orlando to have decided to move on. But, even in late May and just five weeks removed from the official start of the offseason, is any of this worth leaning on? Come on, guy.
Odom's plea is by far the less significant of the two. The New York City native has played with both Los Angeles teams since entering the NBA in 1999, along with a season in Miami, and a disastrous stint with the Dallas Mavericks ? the defending champion, always on TV, very famous Dallas Mavericks ? in 2011-12. With his options limited and very few teams interested in a 32-year-old who shot 35 percent last year and couldn't be bothered to make it a full year with the Mavs despite plenty of chances, of course the offensively starved Knicks seem like a perfect retreat for a player looking to turn it all around.
There's just one obstacle, though. Actual NBA contracts, including the one Odom signed back in the summer of 2009.
Lamar may have been dismissed from the Mavericks two months ago, but he's still under contract with the team for the rest of this season, and technically for 2012-13. Though the $8.5 million he's due to make in 2012-13 is only guaranteed for $2.4 million, and the Mavericks will certainly decline to pick up Odom's team option for the full amount for myriad reasons that go beyond his play in 2011-12, he still is a Maverick until July.
And between now and July, the Mavs are shopping the veteran. Which means LO is in no way in control of his destiny, here. Even if "New York is somewhere he can be comfortable."
The Mavericks took what seemed to be a low-risk chance on Lamar in December because his all-around talents would have seemingly fit in swimmingly with a veteran Mavs team already featuring borderline position-less veterans like Dirk Nowitzki and Shawn Marion. Sadly for us lovers of all things orange and leathery, it didn't work out. Dallas' commitment goes beyond that, though, because all along the team has been clearing cap space for the 2013 offseason, one that could see the team attempt to pounce on trading for Howard, or adding Deron Williams in the free-agent market.
This is why the team is going to be proactive with Odom, in the days leading up to the June 29 deadline to either pick up Odom's full deal for 2012-13, or buy him out at the cost of that $2.4 million. If Williams continues to hint that he doesn't want any part of the borderline-rebuilding Mavericks, the team could ship him to another team desperate to cut salary, knowing they can send out around $9 million in contracts and only end up paying $2.4 million (once they decline Odom's option) in return. Toss in the ability to pick up draft picks or add to that cap space by including Marion or Brendan Haywood in any deal, and you can see why the Mavericks are more than in charge, in this situation.
And Odom, despite his representative-placed plea ("It definitely won't be the fiasco that it was last year. He's won championships in the past and he wants to win another." ? mine eyes hurt from all the rollin') isn't really in charge of any of this, anytime soon. And even if he hits the open market, he'll have to take on a minimum salary from the Knicks, and not even a part of the team's mid-level exception ? because the Knicks will likely be looking for more shooters and guard help, instead of a player whose skill set is already pretty well represented on the Knicks. Again, Lamar's not really in charge here.
To a lesser extent, the same goes for both the Orlando Magic and Dwight Howard, somehow concurrently, in their dilemma.
It more than makes sense, as you read Chris Sheridan's report, to believe that the Magic are sick to death of Howard's hemming and hawing. We were begging the team last year to pull the trigger with the MVP candidate, because it was more than obvious ages ago that he was in no hurry to re-sign with the only team's he's been a part of since being drafted first overall in 2004. And even if the Magic secure a fantastic win-now coach between now and training camp ? say, a Stan Van Gundy-type ? the team's limited roster only gives them an upset's worth of a chance to knock out a Miami or Chicago in the playoffs this time next year in the final weeks of Howard's contract.
So, you trade the guy. Right?
Of course, but we're not there yet. Sources around the Magic (who would also have great interest in trying to sway Howard by leaking fake trade rumors) might claim to have made their minds up, but they're ages away from figuring any of this out. Without a working general manager ? no, CEO Alex Martins is not a basketball guy ? the team has little indication as to how the market is set, and will be set. And as stupid as the team was to drag this saga out while hanging onto the mercurial Howard, they'd be stupid to make up their minds before the offseason hits.
Because things could change. Even if we've decided, without reflex, that Howard won't be back after the summer of 2013, making a final decision before prodding is the height of absurdity.
What if the team's finances are better served to keep Howard around (after all, he was the guy that famously put pen to paper in March to pick up his player option for 2012-13) and fill the seats in that stadium through at least the first round of next year's playoffs, considering how un-movable his teammates are in the trade market?
What if the trade market for Howard, because teams know he's on the block this summer, could be more rewarding next February, in the days leading up to the trade deadline?
What if going quiet with this, as the Utah Jazz did in dealing Deron Williams 15 months ago, is the way to go?
What if, as it is with Odom, teams are waiting to see how the May 30 draft lottery shakes out? Or the actual draft, on June 28? What if they're waiting on getting a better idea of where the NBA's cap limit will settle into, even if news of that hits after Odom's June 29 deadline?
What if this is all nonsense, until things shape out?
Aye, you're on to something there.
The conference finals start this weekend. The season still has a few weeks to go, and we're five weeks away from anything substantial happening in the 2012 offseason. Teams and players have an idea of what they'd like to do between now and the start of training camp this fall, but beyond that nobody has a clue. And that goes for even your most plugged-in player representative, front office source, and the writers that happily represent their side of the story in order to reel in hits.
Apologies for the cold water take, but you're as plugged in as anyone. It's early. There's still a lot to figure out, and nothing is as simple as it seems save for the simple way of saying that we've still got a long way to go before anything settles into anything resembling reality. Much less a roster.
Enjoy your hot stove league, even in this heat. Just understand that nothing is anywhere near certain at this early stage. If that bores you, we understand.
Get in a nap, then. We'll see you in July, and have a bit of fun.
Indiana Pacers forward and former All-Star David West is known for being a prickly sort. Not a dirty player or selfish teammate in the slightest, as the newish Pacer is well respected by foes, ex-teammates and teammates alike, working hard to carve out a niche in the NBA after entering the league in relative anonymity out of Xavier.
Also, he doesn't want to low-five you, ya punk kid. Check out West's -- I'm sorry -- hilarious reaction to the eight outstretched hands of various children and one adult in the hallway leading from the Pacers' home court back to the team's locker room. And, it should be noted, this video was taken at halftime, and before West's Pacers saw their season end with a 105-93 defeat at the hand of the Miami Heat. Watch, because it's so good:
Now, you can get haughty at the idea of a professional athlete making eight figures a year snubbing some children who just wanted to offer their support. You can look at Danny Granger, who seconds later hooked up to five with the fans on his way to the locker room. You can call him a bad example, because high-fiving people is a necessary skill that all youngsters need to perfect in order to succeed in adulthood. You can point out the tired "makes more than a schoolteacher!"-argument, Dr. Obvious, until your dying day.
Or, you could laugh out loud as West just blatantly spurns these kids with no remorse, like I can't stop doing. I think this is the greatest, and if I see David West this summer I'll ... well, I'll probably just leave him alone.
Kids have to learn rejection. It's all downhill from here, and they're going to figure it out at some point. For this guidance, we should be thanking David West.
Now, everyone go wake up your children to tell them the truth about Santa Claus, and what exactly makes Elmo's mouth move. You'd be creating a stronger society along the way.
A dominant five-day and 10-quarter stretch from the Miami Heat has put them back in the Eastern Conference finals for the second year in a row and the fifth time in franchise history. And the Indiana Pacers will be left to figure out just how they went from series leader after Game 3, with all the momentum on their side, to out of the postseason in just a week's time.
And the rest of the NBA is wondering just what doctor Dwyane Wade visited last weekend. Does he do other body parts and does he work on Friday afternoons?
It was an astonishing night for Wade, a player who has been beyond dominant during the Heat turnaround that started with the third quarter in Sunday's Game 4. Forty-one points for the All-Star, missing just eight shots in 25 tries while pulling in 10 needed rebounds for a team featuring big minutes for two of the best-defending-but-worst-rebounding front-court players in the NBA in Joel Anthony and Shane Battier. Most frightening was the way Wade was scoring, consistently going glass with a series of runners, not exactly taking and making bad shots, but taking and making tough shots. Gorgeous game from Wade, and after all our worry from last week, it's great to watch.
LeBron James was the needed closer, of sorts, in the game's final minutes. The Pacers had cut the lead to seven before curiously pulling Roy Hibbert (who had trouble containing Heat drivers once they blew past their men). James scored on two expertly timed quick-hitters around the rim, finishing the night with 28 points, seven assists, six rebounds and three steals, and it just wasn't fair. Mike Miller (!) and Mario Chalmers combined for seven 3-pointers on 7 of 11 from behind the arc, Anthony paired great "D" with two fantastic scores in the paint (!!), and Battier made up for his 1-for-7 night from the floor by staving off two Indiana runs with both an assist and make in the deciding third quarter.
As with all potential champions, the Heat are becoming a third quarter team. Good thing, because Indy made a strong showing to start Game 6. LeBron was slightly off his game early, settling for jumpers that weren't awful, but not the best shots he could have taken. Indiana also successfully adjusted to the way Battier was anticipating Pacer screens by running counters and eventually dominating the paint in the second quarter.
Things fell apart again when Indy had to go to its bench. Coach Frank Vogel defending extended minutes for his pine guys ("you have to play your bench at some point"), but the fact remains that things fell apart offensively for his team with Leandro Barbosa (who didn't play in the second half) killing his team's momentum with ineffective play. The ball went away from Hibbert, an unfortunate trend over the last week, and the Pacers either didn't have the legs (or, in Vogel's estimation, the horses) to trap Miami's stars and for more pell-mell ball movement and plays created by lesser known Heat'ians.
Though, as we noted above, Miller, Battier and even Anthony acquitted themselves quite well when things got hairy.
We'll have more on the Pacers later on Friday. For now let's just marvel at how scary the Heat can be, especially without playing alongside the spacing from Chris Bosh and/or Udonis Haslem that we thought necessary for them to beat great teams.
Erik Spoelstra has been absolutely on top of it during this postseason with his adjustments. He was one step ahead of Frank Vogel in this series, and save for some goofy asides (like starting Dexter Pittman in Game 3, sitting Udonis Haslem in the second half of that contest), he's been fantastic. And he's had help ? Haslem in Game 4, Battier in Game 5, Miller in Game 6 ? along the way.
Wade and James have combined to average more than 65 points per game in the squad's last three wins, and while basketball orthodoxy will tell you to not expect this moving forward for this duo ? they're Dwyane Wade and LeBron James. It's doable. It's necessary to win, which is an unfortunate thing for such a top-heavy team, but it's doable.
The Western Conference finals, which tip off on Sunday, figures to be the best series of the playoffs so far. The Oklahoma City Thunder and San Antonio Spurs have been the two most impressive teams in the postseason by a wide margin, losing a whopping one game between them and seeming to have very few, if any, major weaknesses. It's the kind of series where predicting who will win is almost besides the point ? really, it's best just to watch some great basketball and enjoy whatever happens.
In the meantime, though, we're all going to speculate about what might happen and how each team might attack the other. For the media, that means asking key players what they expect from the opposition. For some reason, Kevin Durant is tired of being asked these questions. From Darnell Mayberry for The Oklahoman (via SLAM):
Kevin Durant was just three minutes into his 10-minute session with reporters Wednesday when he grew a bit testy.
Of the first seven questions lobbed at him, Durant was forced to field five about the San Antonio Spurs. [...]
Once that fifth question came ? a reasonable query about what he anticipates from the Spurs defensively against him ? Durant tried to supply an answer but soon found himself swerving off script.
"I'm just going to play my game," Durant started. "I can't really think about how those guys are going to defend me. They're a tough defensive group. But every question is about how the Spurs are going to come and how the Spurs are going to play. But you got to ask me how we're going to come at them. We're a tough team as well. We come out and play hard. We have a lot of weapons as well. I know they're the No. 1 seed, they're a tough group and they haven't lost in a couple of months but I think that we bring another dimension to the table as well. And we can come out and compete."
The Spurs are the favorites in this series ? they haven't lost since the second week of April and have looked flawless in their eight playoff games. Durant is right not to treat them like they're unbeatable, but it's also natural for the media to ask him and his Thunder teammates how they'll handle the challenge. The Spurs might not get quite as many questions about the Thunder as the Thunder have gotten about the Spurs, but they're being asked similar things. It's just what happens in a playoff series where both teams are really good.
More than anything, what Durant's doing is buying into an "us against the world" mentality that drives so many athletes. When basketball players feel disrespected, they gain a competitive advantage. Durant might be blowing this issue out of proportion, but it's also the sort of thing that athletes do all the time. What's interesting in this case is that, given the likely competitiveness of this series, the Thunder could become the favorite after one game. Durant might feel disrespected now, but he could also be the toast of the league in a week.
A look around the league and the web that covers it. It's also important to note that the rotation order and starting nods aren't always listed in order of importance. That's for you, dear reader, to figure out.
C: Eight Points, Nine Seconds. A pointed look at the Pacers as they prepare for perhaps their penultimate performance. PF: Vice. David Roth on Stan Van Gundy and the Orlando Magic. SF: Magic Basketball. Eddy Rivera on Stan Van Gundy and the Orlando Magic. SG: Orlando Pinstriped Post. Evan Dunlap on Dwight Howard and the Orlando Magic. PG: True Hoop. Kevin Arnovitz: 'The unthinking brilliance of Tim Duncan.'
6th: SB Nation. Attempting to fix the Lakers, with Tom Ziller's help. 7th: Forum Blue and Gold. Metta World Peace's exit interview was lovely, per usual. 8th: CSNNE. Brandon Bass credits his late mother for his NBA ascension. 9th: Washington Post. Michael Lee discusses the up and down and up rookie season of Jan Vesely. 10th: CSNNE. Jessica Camerato goes over Paul Pierce's legendary career with veteran Tony Battie.
Got a link or tip for Ball Don't Lie? Holler at me at kdonhoops (at) yahoo.com, or follow me on Twitter.
It's a cliche to say that great athletes are capable of feats better suited for video games. For many reasons, that idea no longer makes much sense. But the idea remains anyway, because in some cases it's the only way to give a sense of what it's like to watch an unbelievable athlete do his thing. It doesn't even seem real, so it must be virtual.
Los Angeles Clippers forward Blake Griffin is one of those players. So, in an inspired mashup, the video wizards at SB Nation added graphics and sound effects from the old version of "NBA Jam" to some of Griffin's best dunks of this season. Make sure you watch until the end, because that's when Griffin actually defies the laws of physics.
Hey, are you in need of something that is the greatest to get you through the remainder of your Thursday afternoon as you wait for a Miami Heat-Indiana Pacers game that will all but certainly kill your soul? WORRY NOT, FELLOW TRAVELER! I have just the thing for you: Dancing!
And not mere "tomato-soup-awaiting, Siri-spurred" dancing ? real dancing. From the mean streets of Springfield, Va., where it seems there ain't ish to do but cook or create dances dedicated to Washington Wizards rookie guard Shelvin Mack and venerable multi-team guard of the '90s Robert Pack. Behold:
This unbridled brilliance comes to us from Springfield's Ryan Kopf, 23, who has apparently been doing this sort of thing since he was knee-high to a shoefly, and does it pretty often. From the fantastic Sarah Kogod of the Washington Post's venerable D.C. Sports Bog:
"It started when I was real little," he told me. "I started making little songs on my computer. I would put the names of Redskins and Wizards ? well, Bullets then ? in the songs because I was such a fan. Two years ago, my brother asked me to start up again because he thought they were funny."
He doesn't take it too seriously, using the name D.J. Bunyan (inspired by a childhood nickname) and making up a dance move specific to each player's name. There are also videos for Redskins Chris Neild (Da Neildy Beat) and Niles Paul (Niles Mafia) as well as the Wizards' Cartier Martin.
"I definitely didn't want to do the stars on the team because they're too mainstream," Kopf explained. "I wanted to give the unsung heroes a shoutout."
Definitely. Seems like the only reasonable thing to do. Really looking forward to seeing that Cartier Martin dance, as well as a Chris Singleton-themed dance that integrates his lottery ticket expenditure and a Kevin Seraphin two-step that requires the dancer to pantomime taking his shorts off.
Just so long as D.J. Bunyan (inspired by a childhood nickname) doesn't take things too seriously. It'd be easy to start taking these dances very, very seriously, so I just hope he can avoid that obvious, wide-open pitfall. Let's keep our fingers crossed.
After presenting the game ball before Game 6 of the Eastern Conference semifinal series between the Philadelphia 76ers and Boston Celtics, NBA legend Allen Iverson headed back up to his seat and he cheered. Man, did he cheer. Oh, boy, did he cheer.
It's a total given that when you think "Kobe Bryant," you think "Stringy-Haired Belgian-Australian Dude Singing About Difficult Relationship Problems With Twee Belgian And/Or Australian Women." I mean, I know it goes without saying, but for the purposes of the post, I guess I have to say it. Sure, "basketball" is No. 2, but that's obviously No. 1. (Rapping with Tyra Banks, clearly, is No. 3.)
So it's both thematically correct and completely reasonable that Dan Rib and Ken Belcher ? aka "Kobye" ? produced this re-imagining of Gotye's smash "Somebody That I Used to Know" targeted very specifically at the failings of the Los Angeles Lakers star, how his 2011-12 incarnation differs from the unstoppable version of his youth, and how this year's Lakers might have been better off with fewer Kobe shots and more play through twin-tower types Andrew Bynum and Pau Gasol ... which, y'know, is kind of what most folks who aren't diehard Laker fans/Kobe stans were saying for most of this season. Although we weren't saying it so breathily.
If nothing else, as we enjoy this cover ? and let's be clear: it's a cover worth enjoying, as Kobye has done well to honor both the source material and fans of the thing they are discussing, a double act that is no easy feat to pull off, I can assure you ? let's just be glad of one thing: There isn't any body-painting here. I think we can all agree that that's a clear upgrade, irrespective of your gender preferences or artistic sensibilities, if for no other reason than that stuff can be real hard to get off. (DON'T ASK.)
It's a little too easy, in the wake of news like this, to point to "one bad apple" and declare overreaction. We're not law enforcement officials. We don't do this for a living. We weren't there and we don't know better.
Now that we've shown respect to the Oklahoma City officials that decided to cancel the outdoor playoff game viewings at "Thunder Alley" during OKC Thunder games, in the wake of the shooting that marred the team's Game 5 win over the Los Angeles Lakers on Monday, it does appear that the city might be overreacting. Thunder Alley will remain open pregame, so you get to slap on your facepaint and buy a Thunder-sanctioned something or other, but once the game tips off, according to Dan Mahoney, Thunder vice president of corporate communications and community relations, those without a ticket can then "go to their favorite viewing establishment to watch the game."
Not to the big outdoor screen, where a cast of thousands watched the Thunder play in the team's opening-round series against Dallas, and the group's triumph over the Lakers. Undeterred, Thunder fans at Welcome To Loud City are attempting to streamline fan efforts to swamp the OKC mayor and city council with requests that fans without a ticket be given the chance to continue to watch the game outside. Considering that sports fans are often as superstitious (if not considerably more) than the players who play the game, we can understand if there are some jittery OKC backers worried about what's going to happen when next Thursday's Game 3 (the first contest in the Western Conference finals to be played in Oklahoma City) tips off.
Monday's shooting was scary, and with a crowd that dense (the shooting took place just a half-hour after the Thunder dismissed Los Angeles), the fans are probably lucky only eight people were hurt in all the chaos. Oklahoma News columnist and local radio guy Berry Tremel also passed along info that the atmosphere was "scary and ugly" during the Game 5 viewing, though he didn't go into specifics, and it's not hard to understand that a 5,000-strong sports gathering (even if most are rooting for the same side) could get real dangerous, real quick. Especially if alcohol is being served or allowed into the viewing area.
Tremel suggests taking the whole thing indoors, which would be a logistical nightmare that could cost the city heaps of money (even if a small fee is charged); and the roofed-in scene might make fans more uneasy than the open-air setting.
Or, with a week to go before Game 3, the city could write the Game 5 shooting off as an aberration. You're not going to prevent a wacko with a gun from doing what apparently comes naturally to wackos with guns when somebody displeases them, so you're going to have to boast some faith in your community and continue apace while learning and improving from a scene gone really, really wrong.
Because to cancel what has been one of the cooler aspects of this year's postseason (to an outsider) seems incredibly rash, especially when you consider that nearly as many people will be milling about (with the ability to cause great harm) before the game begins, even without the viewing party. Tossing potentially violent people back into bars to watch the game doesn't seem like the answer, and the payoff ? with a city that is madly in love with its Thunder ? seems too wonderful to pass on taking a chance at.
You've got a week, Oklahoma City. Make your voice heard and get that big screen back up. We're Americans, dammit, and we've earned the right to watch our giant TV.
Chris Kaman's doing great, guys. He's about to be a free agent, and while the 30-year-old pivot isn't really anyone's idea of a game-changer, he'll be one of the best available centers on the market.
You'd clearly rather have Kevin Garnett for the next couple of years, even at age 36, but young and gifted restricted free agents like Roy Hibbert, Brook Lopez, JaVale McGee and Omer Asik will cost a pretty penny. And among unrestricted types, only Ian Mahinmi (five years younger, light-years more athletic and an emerging talent on both ends) and Spencer Hawes (a pretty similar player to Kaman during his first five seasons) would seem like better multiyear bets at deals above the midlevel exception.
Even coming off a relatively nondescript season with the New Orleans Hornets, Kaman has value as a legit 7-footer who can score, has nine years of NBA experience, and can walk, chew gum and foul at the same time. He'll find a job, and a lucrative one, at that. He's secure. And when you're secure, you can just chill out and eat some cereal in a cabin surrounded by more animal heads than seem reasonable, healthy or non-mania-inducing.
Once you've kicked things off with the most important meal of the day, though, you should really go out and have some fun with your offseason. Visit with friends. Take long walks. Hide in caves and then jump out pretending to be a legendary ape-like cryptid who purportedly inhabits the woods of the Pacific Northwest:
Basketball! (Note to self: Never enter a wooded area again. HE MIGHT BE THERE, WAITIN' TA SPOOK YA.)
But sometimes, hiding in a cave and then jumping out pretending to be a legendary ape-like cryptid who purportedly inhabits the woods of the Pacific Northwest just isn't enough offseason excitement. Sometimes, you just need to develop your craft and make things with your hands, then tease folks about it on Twitter:
Yep! (For purposes of scale, please remember that Chris Kaman stands 7 feet tall.)
Listen, I think we can all agree that every NBA team is looking for a center who can give them 13 points and seven boards a night, who can make some passes out of the post and who is interested in augmenting his on-ball defensive deficiencies by introducing medieval weaponry into his game. That just shows a dedication to improving, from where I'm sitting.
Eating meals in a hall where the walls are littered with evidence of conquest ... embodying a half-man, half-beast creature from beyond the borders of human society ... crafting archaic weapons used in giant battles of the past. Well, everything points in one direction ? Chris Kaman just got suuuuuuper into "Game of Thrones." I bet he's really excited for the season finale Sunday; I know I can't wait.
Heading into a win-or-go-home Game 6 against the Boston Celtics on Wednesday night, Philadelphia 76ers head coach Doug Collins said his team needed point guard Jrue Holiday to ramp up his aggression, get to the basket more frequently and put up more shots to give Philly a chance of extending the series to Game 7. Apparently, the third-year guard listens.
Holiday took 15 shots on Wednesday night, the most of any Sixer, and posted a team-leading 20 points as Philly scored an 82-75 Game 6 win to knot this second-round series at three games apiece. As we discussed Wednesday, though, the key wasn't just that Holiday get his shots up, but where he got them up; after taking just five attempts at the rim in Games 4 and 5 combined, Holiday went 3 for 5 at the tin in Game 6 and 6 for 10 within nine feet of the basket, according to Hoopdata's shot location statistics, meaning that despite having gone 9 for 19 from 3-point range in the series' first five games, he refused to fall in love with his jumper and just continued attacking the paint.
Even when he didn't connect on the bucket, the attacks paid dividends ? Holiday attempted (and made) six free throws Wednesday night, one fewer than he'd tried in the first five games combined, and four of his six assists led to baskets at the rim for his teammates. By routinely beating Boston's defense off the bounce and getting into the lane, Holiday was able to generate offense not only for himself, but for the rest of the Sixers, and in a game where both teams struggled with their jumpers ? Philly was just 12 for 35 from beyond 10 feet, while Boston was a ghastly 17 for 56 ? the team able to produce and convert more up-close opportunities came away with the win.
It wasn't pretty, to be sure, but it was a win, and it sets the stage for an intriguing series-ender between a Celtics crew that looks gassed and a Sixers squad facing its first Game 7. If Holiday can continue to get to the basket against a Celtics backcourt whose best perimeter defender, Avery Bradley, is reportedly being shut down for the remainder of the season due to his persistent shoulder injuries, the eighth-seeded Sixers could find themselves in the Eastern Conference finals for the first time since Wednesday night star Allen Iverson led them there in 2001. It's an outcome that seemed all but unthinkable a few weeks back, but as Holiday and his teammates are learning, relentlessness can render reason obsolete.
ESPN's Chris Broussard is reporting the Orlando Magic are likely to discuss their open general manager position with current TNT appear-on-TV'er analyst and former Magic center Shaquille O'Neal. I also just nearly made it to writing 40 words before collapsing into this:
Though the potential pairing would fly in the face of just about everything we've learned about the NBA, the Orlando Magic, Shaquille O'Neal and actual magic over the last few decades, Broussard insists the meeting could take place soon enough. Charles Barkley, on "The Dan Patrick Show" Thursday morning, even confirmed Shaq had told him he was set to interview. Here's Broussard's scoop, taken from his sources:
O'Neal, who began his legendary NBA career in Orlando, may meet with the Magic as soon as next week, sources told ESPN The Magazine's Chris Broussard. While he has no front office experience, the Magic believe O'Neal's presence within the organization could help them retain Dwight Howard.
[?]
Orlando president Alex Martins was a member of the Magic organization when O'Neal was there as a player and has a solid relationship with him.
LOL.
Your initial instinct is the correct one. Shaquille O'Neal would likely make a terrible general manager. His hubris and work ethic have been called into question repeatedly throughout his playing career, and even his work on TNT (in discussing deals and potential signings, it's clear O'Neal hasn't really made it through his collective bargaining agreement FAQ yet) has gone a long way toward dismissing any inclination he would be suitable as a decision-maker in the front office.
Toss in the fact that O'Neal repeatedly takes pot-shots at Magic center Dwight Howard, and you have a different angle entirely. Shaq has long appeared jealous of the Orlando All-Star, repeatedly referring to Andrew Bynum as the league's best center on TNT this season, calling Howard's potential free-agent flight "a travesty" earlier in the year, and genuinely acting a prat because it appeared for a while that Howard might be more beloved in the Orlando area that Shaq still calls home. That was the case for a while, at least.
So the idea of O'Neal's presence acting as some sort of calming influence on Howard appears ridiculous, but according to Broussard the two are chummier than you might think:
But sources close to both Howard and O'Neal insist the two privately have a friendly relationship and often send text messages to one another.
In fact, O'Neal often has been a confidante for Howard during this trying season in Orlando.
It's hard to see it making sense for the Magic to leak, considering O'Neal is still reviled there for leaving the team high and dry as a free agent back in the summer of 1996. The team would look foolish in going after the biggest of all big names ? only Magic Johnson, in NBA circles, isn't currently occupied either running or owning a team ? in the eyes of not only the league, but the squad's dubious and frustrated fans.
Worse, if winning over Howard is the objective, a leak like this from Orlando's side wouldn't make Dwight any more keen on signing that contract extension that has been on the table for the last year and a half.
In fact, the only person that would gain anything from this sort of story would be ? Shaq.
Just mentioning Shaquille O'Neal in the same breath with a possible interview to possibly throw his hat into the running for the Orlando Magic's GM job makes the Big Fella look good. It improves his bargaining position with Turner, it allows him amped-up NBA executive cred even if no meeting takes place and it allows O'Neal a nice tidy segment at the outset of Thursday's TNT pregame show to "discuss" the story, acting coy and essentially confirming impending talks all while not confirming nor denying. More and more attention.
And then you have the bit where Shaq and Dwight text each other all the time, friends all along. Swell guy, that Shaq.
Of course, as Schmitz also tweeted, the Magic can put an end to all of this by completely dismissing the rumor. Not offering the typical "no comment," but coming clean and telling the media they have absolutely no interest in Shaquille O'Neal for any position in their front office.
Shaq better hope they save that statement for Friday. He's got to look all executive-like on Thursday night, you know.
And if the Magic actually have interest in Shaquille O'Neal, NBA GM?
The Boston Celtics' recent history of failing to close out series after series on the road is well-documented, but this is getting a little silly. The Philadelphia 76ers are certainly good enough to beat the Celtics in a series. They're a legitimate conference finals contender, even as an eighth seed considering that end of the bracket (which was designed for the top-seeded Bulls to play a mediocre Eastern team in the second round), and the Sixers are certainly good enough to stand their ground at home with the team's season on the line.
For the Celtics to lose like this, though? Giving up on offensive possessions in the half court once Philly took away an initial option, and refusing to run out after misses? This was disappointing. And unlike other Celtic eras, which would see the team head back home for a deciding Game 7 with a (relatively) younger roster, nothing is guaranteed in Saturday's Game 7. The game starts at 0-0, and the Sixers have all the promise in the world if they keep their wits about them.
Credit Philadelphia. The team came out ready to turn this into a dogfight, and ready to let the Celtics know that nothing would be handed to them ? which looked like what Rajon Rondo expected in this loss. No trips to the line unless you're a master like Paul Pierce, and no transition opportunities if you don't want to, y'know, transition the damn ball. All series long, Sixers coach Doug Collins has marveled at the team's ability to stay loose in the face of The Big Game, and that isn't just relative to Collins' nervy ways ? these Sixers take chances, and not just in going for steals or knockout 3-pointers.
Let's give it up for Jrue Holiday, here. The Sixers guard isn't yet 22, and yet he's averaged around 15 points (a gaudy total, in this slow-paced affair) and five assists in five games after a rough Game 1. Elton Brand was seemingly everywhere defensively and finished with a triple-double. Game 5 hero Brandon Bass, missing 10 of 12 shots in the loss, was taken out of the game, and with Avery Bradley's shoulder injury looming large the Boston bench looks worse than ever ? Mickael Pietrus played more minutes in this loss than five of his other bench mates combined, and he could only muster 2-of-6 shooting.
We're tilting forward a bit with this, but only because with Bradley's injury and the wear of a long season, it's obvious that Boston is flailing and the Sixers are a team on the make. And while we gave Philly the edge heading into this game, that doesn't mean Boston couldn't have grabbed it, kept it close and introduced Nervous Time for the young Sixers late in the contest.
There's still time to introduce the 76ers to that fear. The thought of consequence and responsibility. This team didn't have to line up for a Game 7 against Chicago, playing with house money all the way. It never had any expectations against Miami last year. It's never been supposed to do anything. On Saturday? In Game 7? They're supposed to show up. They have a chance to win, and they need to play like it.
With that in place, if Boston relies on that for an edge in Game 7, on the Sixers wetting their shorts? Then they're just about spotting them 10 points. Boston might get a few calls along the way, home cooking with a whistle dangling from its neck, but by and large the Sixers should be used to playing in a building they've worked in seven times under Doug Collins, combining this year and last.
It's going to be ugly, but it's going to be a Game 7. We may not be looking forward to the actual basketball, but we're quite intrigued at just how both teams will respond as they take to the biggest game of the year.
Sixers legend Allen Iverson left Philadelphia under not-so-great circumstances twice ? first, when he was traded to the Denver Nuggets in December 2006, and then again in 2010 after a short, controversy-filled return to the franchise. Despite those exits, Iverson is still much-loved in Philly. He led the franchise emotionally and on the court for more than a decade, and his toughness (mixed with a lot of frustration, naturally) helped the city identify with him. Simply put, he's the most important Philadelphia athlete of the past 25 years, no matter how often Eagles fans still complain about former quarterback Donovan McNabb.
On Wednesday night, the currently unemployed Iverson returned to the Wells Fargo Center to present the game ball before tip-off of the Sixers' Game 6 win against the Boston Celtics. His initial appearance was brief: He walked out in head-to-toe Sixers apparel (including a jersey with the No. 23 of Louis Williams, the most Iversonian member of the team), presented the ball, shook some hands, gave some hugs, and left the court to watch the game. Through it all, the home crowd gave him a huge ovation.
You can watch video of that above. After the jump, check out the more complicated part of Iverson's evening: an interview with ESPN's Lisa Salters that touched on his desire to play basketball and his difficulty in finding a team that wants him.
There are a number of telling moments in the interview, including AI's heartfelt gratitude to the city of Philadelphia and how much he loves being recognized for the effort he gave on the court. The meat, though, is when he says that he won't use the word "retirement" and the line "I want to play basketball so bad" despite the fact that NBA teams have shown little or no interest in him. The 76ers and their fans treated Iverson like a retired hero on Wednesday, but the fact is that he's not ready to accept that role.
It's very easy to view this turn of events as sad for Iverson, particularly if you believe the overblown and reductive reports that he's broke. Yet, from another perspective, Iverson's situation is just another event in the life of someone who never went quietly and stayed himself even when standards deemed him reckless and immodest. For years, AI thrived on tenacity and perseverance on the court, playing through injury even when medical logic suggested he was falling apart. As a cultural figure, he embraced street style and became the poster boy for all moralists' claims that the NBA was a league of thugs. At all times, he's done what he wants to do with little care for what the general population thought of him.
Many aging superstars play past their sell-by date, but almost all of them realize when they're no longer wanted by their top professional leagues and retire with relatively little shame. Iverson hasn't gone gently, instead hanging on to any semblance of athletic relevance he can. Outsiders might think it pathetic for perfectly valid reasons. But anyone familiar with Iverson's career and personality can't be too surprised. As always, he'll fight until he no longer has the energy.
With the Los Angeles Lakers out of the playoffs in the second round for the second consecutive season, many fans and analysts have considered how to fix the team's problems given their complicated financial situation. Most people have suggested that they should trade very talented but often marginalized big man Pau Gasol for new players, but even that deal wouldn't give them many options. The fact of the matter is that their cap situation is just not very palatable over the next few seasons.
Due to those issues, some think the franchise should take more drastic measures. Kobe Bryant is set to make more than $58 million over the next two seasons, topping out at $30.4 million in the 2013-14 season ? making him the highest-paid player in the league by a wide margin. At that time, Kobe will be 35 years old. And while he's still a superstar, it's hard to imagine any perimeter player that age being worth that kind of money under a restrictive collective bargaining agreement.
Whether or not they knew league-wide austerity measures were in the offing in 2010, when they gave Bryant his last big extension, there's no debate that, in basketball terms, the Lakers drastically overvalued their star wing. He is now a volume scorer who is still an excellent player, but the fact is that players better than him -- like Dwight Howard, LeBron James, Kevin Durant and Chris Paul -- are paid way less. Even supposing that, despite his age, Bryant's game somehow remains at its current level, the market price for a superstar has fallen precipitously since his last contract.
By the time Kobe's current contract nears expiration, it will be one of the worst in the NBA -- not because he will have deteriorated beyond recognition, but because the outrageous sum will have such a limiting effect on the Lakers' options. [...]
Is he worth destroying the most formidable frontline in the NBA?
Because, as everyone seems to tacitly acknowledge, that's how much Kobe Bryant costs.
There's a certain logic to this proposal, which was also floated by TrueHoop supreme leader Henry Abbott last August. Kobe will make a pretty ridiculous amount of money relative to the NBA salary cap, and even the best players in league history get worse as they become older. While he might have earned that salary based just on what he's done in the past, it does in fact limit whom the Lakers can pursue and whom they can keep on the roster.
The problem with this line of thinking is that it's logical only in a very narrow on-court sense. Kobe won't be worth $30 million, but his importance to the Lakers as a public figure and cultural touchstone is incalculable after 16 seasons in uniform. He's the most popular man in Los Angeles, synonymous with the franchise, and the driving force behind everything they do on the court. The roles of everyone involved in the franchise are in some way predicated on Bryant's involvement. So while ditching Kobe might help the team rebuild for the future, the public relations hit would be devastating to the franchise and likely inspire a fan revolt. That's to say nothing of the fact that amnestying the most popular athlete in Los Angeles since Magic Johnson might not convince other superstars that this is the place for them.
It's tempting to think that salary cap considerations and a team's on-court situation should determine all decisions, but the emotional effect of cutting ties with Kobe wouldn't just make a bunch of people sad ? it would also hurt the Lakers' reputation and have deleterious effects on their ability to compete. It's very easy to argue that no player should have that sort of importance in a franchise, especially if he eats up so much of their payroll. But the Lakers devoted themselves to Kobe years ago, and it's long past the time when it would've been possible to say goodbye. For better or worse, they're stuck together until retirement do them part.
As now-deposed coach Stan Van Gundy's relationship with Dwight Howard fell apart, reports abounded that the Orlando Magic center had grown tired of SVG's demanding style. That wasn't terribly surprising ? hardline coaches can get on players' nerves over time, particularly when there's not a clear progression towards a championship. When the Magic stalled, SVG's time ran out.
If the Magic want to keep Howard in Orlando ? which seems unlikely based on at least one report ? then they might need to bring in a different kind of coach. With that in mind, it's a little surprising that two of the rumored possibilities are even more intense than Van Gundy.
Sloan told FOX Sports Florida on Tuesday he has interest in the Orlando Magic job, which became open Monday when Stan Van Gundy was fired. "Yes, I think so,'' Sloan said from his farm in McLeansboro, Ill., about his interest. "It would be very intriguing. But they would have to be interested in me.'' [...]
"I'd let other people judge that,'' Sloan said when asked if he could coach Howard, who had been flirting with leaving small-market Orlando but decided just before the March 15 trade deadline that he would not opt out of his contract and delay possible free agency until the summer of 2013.
Those who know Skiles well insist he would crawl to Orlando to be the Magic's coach. Skiles not only has a house in the Orlando area but he played five years with the Magic while becoming one of their most beloved players ever.
More importantly, Skiles is one of Richard DeVos Sr.'s all-time favorites. DeVos is the owner of the Magic. It's hardly a secret DeVos wants an NBA title in the worst way and has to realize it would be foolish at this stage ? especially if all-world center Dwight Howard remains in the Magic Kingdom ? to bring in an untested young coach instead of a proven, quality coach like Skiles.
Hiring Skiles would also be a p.r. bonanza for the Magic as their fans most certainly would embrace a Skiles' "homecoming.''
Sloan is one of the greatest coaches of the last 25 years, and Skiles has proven his ability to get teams to play hard and improve their defense considerably. The problem for the Magic, though, is that both coaches are legendarily intense and not particularly well-suited to deal with temperamental superstars. Sloan resigned in part because of his lack of interest in dealing with Deron Williams' superstar demands (which were minor compared to LeBrons and Carmelos of the league), and Skiles is well known for expecting his players to carry out his game plan and follows his rules.
For all we know, Howard might respect these men's reputations and be a good soldier. But if the Magic are looking to keep him in town with a splashy hire, these names double down on the same traits that got Howard tired of Van Gundy in the first place.
However, it is possible that the Magic are simply looking towards the future. Sloan is best known for his work with stars Karl Malone and John Stockton, but he also oversaw the Jazz rebuilding process in the mid-'00s and led them to a period of success in a stacked Western Conference. Skiles tends to get on his players' nerves after a couple seasons, but he has shown that he can get a group of young players to perform well above their on-paper expectations.
The Magic have plenty of time to pick a coach and might not end up with either of these candidates. However, the rumors suggest that Orlando could finally be looking towards a Howard-less future even as they attempt to placate their star in the short term. For once, the franchise could be keeping its options open without seeming horribly disorganized.
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Winner, Big S: "Gimme the ball! I'm in my range and I'm open!"
Even coming off a relatively nondescript season with the New Orleans Hornets, Kaman has value as a legit 7-footer who can score, has nine years of NBA experience, and can walk, chew gum and foul at the same time. He'll find a job, and a lucrative one, at that. He's secure. And when you're secure, you can just chill out and eat some cereal in a cabin surrounded by more animal heads than seem reasonable, healthy or non-mania-inducing.
